Reason and Love are sworn enemies
by Mineola
Summary: ONE-SHOT! This story was written for a friend of mine. Alaric and Elena try to find comfort with each other, without acknowledging their feelings. SUMARY SUCKS! Please R&R


**A/N: Please take your time to read this short message.  
>This story is the first one I have written in a very long time. It is written to make a wish from the Christmaslist of Rochelle come true. This lovely girl has always tried to make me a better person and make me feel better. She is an all-around wonderful person and that is why I wanted to make one of her wishes come true. I hope you like it.<br>Merry Christmas**

**Disclaimer: I own none of these characters, I just borrowed hem to make a special girl happy**

Prologue:

From the moment the words had left his mouth he regretted it, he saw the shock and sorrow on her face, and he hated himself, knowing this time he was the cause. He hoped that she would stop him, but he also knew she wouldn't, she would let him go, because he told her couldn't stay. He turned around and closed the front door, leaning with his back against it, muttering "I'm sorry Elena" before taking off to his own apartment to drown his sorrows.

She saw the look in his eyes when he told her he had to go, that he couldn't stay here and he it wasn't right for him to be there, and it cut into her heart like a knife. Why did they all have to leave? She couldn't deal with this alone, she needed him. And she knew if she begged him to stay he would, but she didn't. She could see the hurt in his eyes, she had seen it for weeks, how hard it had been for him to be here, and she didn't want to be selfish. As soon as he closed the door she leaned against it mumbling the words she couldn't say to his face "Please stay, Alaric".  
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A lot had happened since then. Another sleepless night, he looked at his alarm clock and saw the violent red numbers telling him it was 4.14, he sighed and got up. He went to the kitchen to make coffee; the smell of it alone revived him a little. He leaned against the counter, these sleepless nights were starting to cost him, and he wasn't sure how long he could go before he would go crazy. As soon as the coffee was done he poured a big mug for himself and settled on the living room couch with a book on civil war history.

It wasn't long before he got a scare, because all of a sudden Elena stood in front of him, yawning and frowning. "Elena, jeez, you scared me." He exclaimed, then lowering his voice, "what's wrong? You can't sleep?" She shook her head "No, I haven't been able to sleep for a while and then I thought I heard something and I wanted to warn you, but you weren't in your bed, so I got worried." At that he rolled his eyes "So you heard a sound, saw I wasn't in bed, thought there were vampires and you decided to come downstairs, without a stake or even a vervaindart?" He shook his head "You know we really need to work on your survival instinct, Elena." Elena shrugged, her own survival had never been her priority, she couldn't change that.

Alaric patted on the couch beside him, "Come, sit," Elena flopped down, turning on the TV for distraction. "Why can't you sleep?" Alaric wondered, Elena laughed, "I was going to ask you the same thing, but I'll go first." She smiled sadly. "I just worry, about Stefan you know, what if he can't come back from this? What if I am not enough for him to switch his humanity back on? I love him, so much, but I don't think it's enough." Tears were forming in her eyes, she stared at him helplessly.

She lay her head down on her knees, wrapping her arms tight around her knees; the true level of her distress was showing. This was all far too much for her, within a year she had lost her parents, found out they weren't her real parents, she had met and lost her biological parents, she had lost her aunt and guardian and she lost her boyfriend. And finally the tears started to fall. She started to sob and she couldn't stop.

Alaric didn't hesitate another second and wrapped his arms around her, he whispered "It's going to be okay Elena, you'll see. Stefan will come back and everything is going to be okay." She leaned in to his embrace, feeling the warmth of his touch and she started to calm down a little bit. Even though they both knew that Alaric couldn't know if this was true, it soothed her, at least for the duration of a single heartbeat. As long as he was holding her she felt safe, nothing could hurt her now.

He kept muttering comforting words to her, and after a while she started to calm down a bit, she lay her head on his chest and he kept rubbing soothing circles into her back. She focused on the sound of his heartbeat to calm herself. She never heard that when Stefan or Damon hugged her, and only now did she realise how much she missed it. His heartbeat was calm and strong, it was a calming sound and in the end it lulled her to sleep, knowing that she was not alone.

And there he sat, his shirt wet from her tears, with a sleeping girl in his arms, it felt nice. He remembered the times he had to comfort Jenna and though it made him feel sad to think of her, somehow it wasn't so bad now. He felt her hair on his shoulder and he revelled in the feeling of a warm body against his. Someone needed him, he had to protect her, and take care of her, that was his purpose now. He had felt so lost for a long time, but tonight he realised that this was why he was still here. He would make sure Elena was okay.

The next night when he lay awake again, not being able to close his eyes without seeing Jenna's face, he heard a knock. He lifted his upper body from the mattress and looked at the door to see Elena's face peek at him. "Hey" she said softly and he never heard a voice that was this soft, filled with so much sadness "I couldn't sleep and I thought last night…" she let the end of that sentence trail. He knew what she meant, they hadn't talked about it, but for the first time in a while they both had gotten some peaceful sleep. So he nodded and let his legs swing out of bed and got up, but when he turned around he saw Elena had come closer and looked confused and a little embarrassed. "I thought- I thought, I could lay here with you for a little while," She admitted, not looking at him, "just for a little while, until I fall asleep."

Alaric scratched his head and sagged back on the bed "I don't know Elena, I don't think that's appropriate, what would everyone think?" She settled herself on the edge of the bed as well; she looked at him with a pleading look in her eyes "How would anyone know? I wouldn't tell anyone. Please Ric, last night is the first time in months I didn't get nightmares. Please just this once." She looked away "I'm just so scared and tired." She could barely keep her voice from breaking. Alaric sighed "Fine, but just this once, come on scoot in." He didn't know why he allowed this, he knew it was wrong. He knew he should say no, but if he was honest, he didn't want to and he couldn't. He wanted sleep and Elena's presence seemed to almost heal him, she made that he could sleep a calm peaceful dream. That was all this was, he told himself, there was nothing else coming into play. At the same time Elena was having almost the exact same thoughts, she knew she shouldn't have asked, but she wanted him close so badly, and she told herself it was just because she felt safe with him, because she had slept so well last night in his arms, it was just about sleep, nothing else.

So they both crawled back in bed with the blankets over them. It was awkward, every time they accidentally touched they both jerked away as if they were electrocuted. This way they were never going to get sleep, so Elena turned on her side and asked "Why can't you sleep?" Alaric shrugged "Just a lot of stuff you know." She smiled and shook her head "Nuhuh, I told you my worries last night, now it's your turn." He smiled "No really Elena it's nothing," he didn't want to trouble her with talk about her dead aunt, when she already had so much on her plate. But Elena wasn't giving up, she scooted a little closer, without touching still and she whispered "No really Alaric, you can tell me, it might help."

To be fair he really wanted to tell, to share his worries and feelings with someone, because the one person with whom he had always been able to do that wasn't around anymore, he had never felt more alone. "I miss her," he said quietly, and then he added even softer "I miss her so much." He felt her freeze beside her, and he knew she missed her too, "I'm sorry Elena, I shouldn't have mentioned it." he squeezed his eyes shut for a second, and then mused sarcastically, half smirking "So much for me being a comfort." He had tried to lighten the atmosphere with humour. However Elena was not fooled, she touched his arm, "Stop saying that, I thought we were over this. No one could have kept us together better than you. We didn't need to be raised like children, we needed safety and friendship," She scooted even closer, laying her head on his shoulder, her body almost moulded to his, "that's what you've given us."

They lay like this for a while, both lost in their own thoughts, until their eyelids became heavier and heavier and they drifted off to a peaceful slumber. Before they knew it they both woke up with a start by Alaric's alarm. Both didn't dare to look at each other and Elena unwrapped herself from Alaric's embrace and scrambled to her own room. She hurried into her bathroom without checking, walking straight into Jeremy, "You okay? You look all flustered." He worried, "huh what? Yeah I'm fine," she replied distracted, "Sorry Jer, I didn't see you." He smiled "No worries, I was just done anyway, it's all yours."

In the meantime Alaric wrapped his arms over across his face and groaned. He had known it was a mistake to let this happen, but as always he had not listened to his better judgement and done it anyway. And now he was in trouble, Elena's quick escape made that obvious. He had no idea what to do about it, so after a few more minutes of self-annoyance he decided to get ready for the day. In the shower he leaned his head against the cool tiles as the hot water assaulted his muscles. What was he doing? He had no idea. How could something feel so comfortable and right, when some part of your mind screamed at you that you were crossing a line and that is was wrong? He didn't know, and he felt too exhausted to find out, or that was what he told himself. Truth was he didn't want to find out, because chances were that the voice in his head would win, and he would lose this… this _thing_ that was going on.

Elena was absentmindedly making coffee, all she could think about was last night and how she reacted this morning. She knew she had messed up, as soon as she had jumped out of bed and saw the look on Alaric's face. She felt guilty for making him feel like that, but truth was it was easier to feel guilty than to accept how good it had felt. Once again she had slept soundlessly and when she woke up she didn't want to leave the confines of his strong arms, and it scared her a little. She shouldn't be feeling those things; she was making more of this than there was. He had just comforted her, she should fix things with him, make sure he knew they were still okay.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the noise of footsteps coming down the stairs, the pace told her it was Alaric coming down and not Jeremy, her stomach gave a small lurch. No, she scolded herself, you are going to handle this like an adult, there is nothing going on, just two grown-ups comforting each other. She took a deep breath and looked up from the coffeemaker into Alaric's uneasy smile. "Hey," he offered lamely, "Hey" she replied with a reassuring smile. "So about this morn-" Elena put her hand up as to stop him from speaking "I'm sorry about that Ric, I shouldn't have just jumped out, I-" she paused for the shortest moment "I don't know why I did that, but we're okay, right?" Alaric stared at her with obvious doubt in his eyes "okay?" it had meant to sound as a statement but it came out more as a question, "if you're sure." He walked over to the kitchen cabinets, grabbing a mug. "I do want to say sorry though, I didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable, I knew it was a mistake." He said it quickly, as if he was scared that if he didn't do it fast he might never say it, which was true. Elena shook her head and lay her hand on Alaric's arm. "I was never uncomfortable Alaric, on the contrary," she said it with a soft, reassuring smile on her face. When she lifted her hand from his arm he could not help but check if she had really lifted it, because he could still feel the warmth radiating through his body from the spot where her hand had touched his skin. He shook his head, to get some focus back, and try act normal.

At school Alaric couldn't focus, this was nothing new, but for once it wasn't because of grief or loss, it was because of confusion. He was there in body, but his mind was pondering the exchange he had with Elena in the kitchen this morning. He couldn't help but hope that it meant something more than he had thought, maybe she needed him too? He was as excited as the students in his class were when the final bell rang. He needed a drink, more than one preferably. He headed to the Grill, where he took his favourite spot. He took out his phone, while sipping his first drink; he scrolled down to the 'D' and let his finger hover over the call-button before putting his phone away again. Though part of him wanted company, he was in no mood for Damon's snarky remarks. He would rather spend this evening alone with some drinks than trying to feign interest. So he downed his drink and ordered another, continuing to try not to think about things and failing at the same time.

This is how Elena found him quite a few drinks later. She shook her head, when he hadn't come home for dinner she knew she would find him here. She was surprised however to find him alone, she had expected Damon to keep him here, that was usually the case. She walked over to Alaric and put her hand on his shoulder, opening her mouth to speak. Alaric shrugged it off before she uttered a word though "Go away Damon," he slurred, clearly intoxicated. She smiled slightly at his words, "Wrong brunette Ric, but I can go." She turned around; before she could walk off he had seized her wrist and pulled her down on the barstool beside him. "Elena, I didn't expect you here, what do you want?" Elena ordered her drink and replied "Well when you didn't show up for dinner and didn't answer your phone, I was wondering where you were," She looked down when her drink was set before her "I was a bit worried actually." She added softly. Alaric looked confused and checked his watch "Shit, I missed dinner, I'm sorry. I didn't pick up the phone, because I thought it would be Damon." Elena looked up "Are you two in a fight?" She wondered, "Nah," Alaric shook his head "I just wasn't in the mood for his _Damon-ess_ I guess." Elena nodded thoughtfully, she understood, she herself hadn't felt the need the past few days herself, too much on her mind.

Their conversation got interrupted, by an arm slung across each of their shoulders "Well, well, my two favourite Mystic Falls residents drinking without me" sounded the seductive purr of a predator "What is this, a date? And I am not invited?" Damon mock pouted, squishing between them ordering a drink. Elena looked away, blushing lightly and Alaric nearly choked on his drink when he heard the word 'date'. Damon frowned at them both, but didn't pay too much attention to it. "So what is the plan for tonight?" Elena shook her head "No plans for me, I'm going home" Alaric quickly got up, slapping some bills on the bar "Me too." Damon smirked "But Elena, if you're not here who is going to keep an eye on me, make sure I don't do something _naughty_." At the last word he did that eye-thing he loved to do. Elena froze and turned around "you wouldn't," she said uncertain, Damon got up whispering in her ear "Wouldn't I?" Alaric walked up to them, giving Damon a light shove, "You wouldn't, now knock it off Damon." With that Damon turned around back to the bar, huffing, "You two are no fun." Elena sighed with relief, smiling at Alaric "Thanks," "Don't mention it" Alaric grumpily replied "Just Damon being Damon."

When they were walking back home, she thought about what Alaric said, Damon being Damon. She supposed that was true, though she was with Stefan, there always had been something between her and Damon. She would never admit it to anyone, she could hardly admit it to herself, but there was a push and pull between them. The incident just now was typical for them though; she could never let her guard down where it concerned Damon. She could never completely let go and relax, she had to stay alert. While with Alaric, she could let go. She knew he would catch her, and not make a joke out of it, or do something dangerous, or hurt someone, just to get her attention. If she faltered he would be there for her to lean on. It was then it dawned on her, how much she actually was leaning on him, she needed him, to keep her from falling apart. It scared her to feel like this, to rely on someone other than herself so much. She still had that small part of her that couldn't let go. That told her there was nothing going on, she shouldn't be comparing Damon and Alaric like this, because that would mean she had feelings for both of them, and she didn't did she? She looked beside her, where a streetlight just illuminated Alaric's silhouette, accentuating his muscles, and showing the slight scruff on his face. She swallowed thickly, watching straight ahead. She was definitely in trouble.

It was clear that the walk home had not helped getting Alaric sober, quite the opposite in fact. The closer they got the quitter he got and the more unstable his walk seemed. As soon as they were in the door he let himself fall back on the couch. He closed his eyes and groaned, instead of clearing his head; tonight had made his thoughts more scrambled than ever. When he had stopped Damon, he had done it without thinking. He had felt the need to protect her, this was on itself no surprise. Damon could be an ass, and Alaric felt it somewhat his duty to keep him in check, and he didn't want Damon's hands on Elena. In fact he didn't want anyone's hands on her. He groaned louder, when his intoxicated mind connected the dots. There was a possibility he had feelings for Elena.

He jolted up when her hand touched his fore-arm, taken aback by his sudden movement she staggered back, and his hands hastened themselves to her waist, to steady her. She swallowed thickly, much too aware of where she could feel the heat of his hands reaching through the fabric of her shirt to warm her. "I said we should head to bed, since we both have school in the morning." He nodded and got up, staggering. Elena put her arms around his waist and slung his hand over her shoulder, shuddering slightly at the amount of his body touching hers.

They stumbled up the stairs together and into Alaric's bedroom. He dropped himself onto the bed, not even bothering to undress, Elena moved to his feet loosening his shoelaces. "Leave it Elena," he grumbled "go to bed." She nodded, feeling slightly hurt by his rejection, she wanted to take care of him when he needed it, like he did for her. She looked up through her lashes at him, and read the hurt and confusion on his face. It was then that she decided to let go of that last part of her holding back, she would take care of him, and he would take care of her. She lowered herself onto the bed, continuing to gaze at him. He opened his mouth, but she put her finger lightly on his lips "Shhhh" she said softly as she lay down next to him, gazing in his deep blue eyes. His hand moved to her finger, wrapping his fingers around her, he slowly pulled her finger away. She leaned in closer, feeling his breath fan her face, the smell of bourbon, wood, and something unidentifiable, but definitely Alaric, reaching her nostrils. And then she pressed her lips softly on his, a little uncertain at first, but when she felt his hand slide to the nape of her neck, pulling her closer, they both gave in.

**A/N: Please let me know what you think, constructive criticism is much appreciated.**


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